Thursday, November 13, 2014

For 20 years I knit scarves. Versions OF scarves.  And STOLES. My idea of lace was size 13 needles & zero tension. All were thrilled with my "unique"  creations. I however was bored. TO TEARS !!! While instagraming one day I discovered handspun yarn. Hand spun ! Holy crap on a cracker ! I have to do that !! 15 min later I had ordered a simple spindle,$3, top whorl. And I ordered Yak fiber. Yes. Yak. For first time spinning. Learning. I'm ambitious,what can I say. Took me a week but I did it ! I spun it. Looked like crap but it was YARN !
                  Most of my life was spent partying hard. H. A. R. D.  Spinning on drop spindles along with being in a program got me clean. Why am I telling you this ? Because I am seeing so many people drink,drug,pill themselves into oblivion swearing they can't stop. Don't want to stop. Think it's to late to stop. AS LONG AS THERE IS LIFE THERE IS HOPE.  I stopped. Used for 25 years. Speedballs. That's when one takes heroin and cocaine,mixes it in a spoon(cooker),shoots it into vein. If one can find said vein. I'm fat,my veins were always bad so I was doing this against every obstacle put in front of me. Didn't care. I went back to the program & for a year. Continued to use drugs. Didn't want to stop. You see heroin made me function like all of you ! Heroin /coke did for me what doctors claim antidepressants are supposed to do. But as soon as I woke up I qas in withdrawal,sick, very much in pain. Throwing up skin on fire in pain. Like being skinned alive. Hence the program.  People that never used drugs look at people like me & shake their heads. I'm just like yoy. I just took a bad turn where you took a good one. I went wrong you went right. It wasn't because I was raped at 6 yrs old. It wasn't because my mom is a narcissist. It's because I made a choice to TRY A BAD DRUG. I let the monster in.
            Spinning  calmed the monster. Allowed me to process my thoughts. I love spinning. Especially Namaste Farm fleeces. Natalie Redding is the best. She has been a mentor and a friend for my entire recovery.  I am so grateful to her. I adore her fleeces. The softest silky. Yummy , ugh I can go on & on about her fiber ! That lady produces THE BEST !  No one else can compare!  I spun up a Scrapbox along with some stashed licks from previous packages she sent me. When I tell you I'm in recovery I mean I do not use ANY drug. Because her fiber is addiction itself!  Who needs dope ? Just get some fiber and spin ! It's so much better! And you have yarn as end result!  Spin on a Turkish ! You'll have a turtle so you can knit 2aat,two at a time socks. The best !

 I taught my friend,Taught another friend to needle point. I'm getting my life back together. It's all like making socks. You get the fleece. Skirt it,wash it. Pick it. Card it. Spin it. Then choose what colors to paint it. What pattern to knit it into. Normal people never think about any of this. We addicts do. Every min of every day. We over think everything. Spinning has brought me so many good friends. So many caring wonderful people. I am SO VERY GRATEFUL.  Happy Knitting.
     

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